Headaches

Last night I took mental inventory of the headaches I've had recently and until just now I thought I had only had three of them but I've actually had four. The first one was the summer before last. My mother and I were going to be doing a Spartan race at West Point on Saturday August 26, 2017. So, my mother, my mother-in-law, my two daughters and my older daughters friend and I were all sleeping over my husbands aunt Maria's house. My mother and I shared the room of Maria's son. We talked a little before she fell asleep but I was having trouble. I was fine for a while I just tossed and turned. But not wanting to wake my mother, I tried to stay still. I know I fell asleep at some point but it was not a deep sleep, nor was it long. I was awakened by a pain on the left side of my head which I thought came from the pillows I was laying on so,  I moved to the floor. I laid there for a while still in pain, wondering if I was having a stroke, or a heart attack, was I going to die? But I told myself to stop thinking crazy, you are fine. And again, I fell asleep for some short amount of time. Around 6 am I woke up again, same pain but this time I moved to the downstairs couch where finally, the pain stopped and I could sleep. My mother thought she had been snoring and I left because of it. We both thought it was weird but as planned we did our race and I was pain free.

August 26, 2018 around 4 in the morning I woke up because I was experiencing the same splitting headache. But being a year later, I had not remembered the one from before. I was in so much pain, it was as if my brain and skull were trying to split in half. I took my head scarf off trying to get relief and removed the pillow I was laying on. Eventually, I went back to sleep and woke up, pain free.

November 27, 2018 0' dark hundred, I was awakened. Same headache, but this time I remember that my left ear felt like it was on fire and had a lot of needles sticking it. So, removed my head scarf, moved my pillows tossed and turned until I found rest. Some time later, the pain was still there so I even removed the two braids I had in my hair. I was due to wake up at 5:45 a.m. and knew I needed to get some rest so I got as comfortable as possible and fell back to sleep.

December 5, 2018 I was in a meeting with my husband. My husband coaches our daughters basketball team, so the meeting was held at one of the parents house. The meeting lasted from  9:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. It was called because the father had had a disagreement with my husband the night before during practice. There was a whole storm around the issue of practice and how my husband is running a one man show and not involving the parents. The whole situation was upsetting to both he and I. As I sat through the meeting listening to the father complain, I felt the infamous headache begin to come over me. My left ear began to burn and I suddenly became very uncomfortable. I removed my glasses and the scarf I had on my head but the pain persisted. And now I could feel the pain spread to the left side of my jaw. I had never felt the onset of the headache while awake and this thing seemed to come out of nowhere. Once the meeting was over, we left and began driving home. I had to pull over and switch with my husband because I was still in pain. But I noticed that once we left, the pain began to subside. And as we spoke about positive things it left more. When I went to bed it was only a small amount of pain in my jaw but the headache was gone.

Finding the connection between these headaches and certain situations was easier after last night. It was not until this past summer that I found out that the young man whose room my mother and I shared charged his mother, Maria, $50 for us to stay in his room. I was shocked and could not believe what I was hearing.

August 26, 2018 I was due to start a new job on the 27th but I had been worried that the hours would interfere with my masters program. When I woke up in pain, I took it as a sign that I should not take the job. I promptly emailed the manager and let her know that I could not accept the position. The pain did not subside immediately but I could feel it going away. 

November 27, 2018 I was getting ready to go to work at McDonalds, a job I knew my husband did not want me to have. But I felt I needed to help the family financially and any job would work. I ended up leaving the position after 3.5 hours.

And finally, last night. I sat there listening to the father speaking untruths about my husband and so as to remain in character, my integrous character, and not lash out at him in anger, I sat quietly. 

The headaches were tied to things I did not want to be a part of. Now having had one while being awake and watching what actually prompted it, I am aware and will watch diligently the next time one shows up. I also realized that once I acknowledged the root cause and changed the situation, the headache went away on its own. I think we should take our body's physical symptoms to heart and try to find out where they are stemming from. By ignoring them we are allowing illness to run as it pleases. Listen to your body.